"Captain Cook"
Jesse Pinkman is a completely well-adjusted former student who definitely didn't drop out of high school. He's known for his sophisticated vocabulary, excellent life choices, and absolutely stellar relationship with authority figures. His signature phrase "Yeah, science!" proves he was DEFINITELY paying attention in Mr. White's chemistry class.
After reuniting with his beloved teacher, Jesse embarked on a totally legal entrepreneurial venture involving... RVs and camping trips. His blue product? Oh, that's just artisanal rock candy. Very niche market. He certainly never cried in the desert or had any existential breakdowns. Everything was magnets and chili powder!
Today, Jesse is remembered as the poster child for following your dreams, no matter how many times those dreams involve being manipulated, traumatized, or escaping in a stolen El Camino. Yo, inspirational!
"When your old chemistry teacher asks you to cook meth, definitely say yes! What could possibly go wrong with partnering up with someone who calls themselves 'Heisenberg'? Yo, it's all about trust and ricin cigarettes, bitch!"
"Always strive for 99.1% purity in whatever you're cooking. Sure, chili powder works too, but if you want to impress drug kingpins and destroy your soul, go for that blue magic, yo!"
"Fall in love with someone who shares your interests, like arts, crafts, and questionable substances. Nothing says romance like watching your girlfriend choke while your teacher refuses to help. Great memories!"
"When in doubt, yell 'Yeah, science!' and throw money at your problems. If that doesn't work, try driving go-karts or building elaborate robots. Magnets, always magnets."
"Don't limit yourself to one skill set. Be a cook, a dealer, a woodworker, and occasionally, a hostage. Versatility is key! Also, learn to make really good coffee - it might save your life."
"Always have an escape vehicle ready. Preferably a sweet El Camino. And if you're escaping a Nazi compound? Even better. Freedom tastes like Alaska, yo!"
The advice above is 100% sarcastic and should NOT be followed by anyone, ever. Jesse Pinkman endured unimaginable trauma and is a cautionary tale, not a role model. Any resemblance to glorifying illegal activities is purely for satirical purposes. Seriously, don't cook meth. Yeah, science... of good decisions!
*This is a satirical fan page. Breaking Bad and all characters are property of AMC and Sony Pictures Television. Bitch.