"Better Call Saul!"
Saul Goodman, born James Morgan McGill, is an absolutely upstanding member of the New Mexico Bar Association who would NEVER engage in money laundering, fraud, or representing cartel members. His flashy suits and Constitution-themed office decor scream "trustworthy legal professional," not "I operate out of a nail salon."
After graduating from the prestigious University of American Samoa (Go Land Crabs!), Saul built his reputation on integrity, honesty, and definitely not bribing officials or suggesting clients flee to Belize. His catchphrase "Better Call Saul!" is a testament to his commitment to justice, not a desperate advertisement on bus benches.
Today, Saul is remembered as a pillar of the legal community who always followed the rules and never had to change his identity to "Gene Takavic" and manage a Cinnabon in Omaha. That would be ridiculous!
"Advertise everywhere! Bus benches, late-night TV commercials, even matchbooks! Sure, it looks desperate, but when your clients are criminals and meth cooks, brand recognition is KEY. Also, get a catchy slogan. 'Better Call Saul' worked for me!"
"When your clients pay you in duffel bags of cash, just accept it. Don't ask questions. And definitely use a legitimate laser tag business as a money laundering front. It's foolproof! What could the IRS possibly find suspicious about that?"
"The law is more like... guidelines. Suggestions, really. If your client needs to 'disappear,' you just happen to know a guy who knows a guy. That's not unethical, that's networking! The Bar Association loves networking."
"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Loud suits, American flag pins, and a Cadillac with 'LWYRUP' plates scream success! Also, film your own commercials. Production value? Overrated."
"When things get hot, suggest your clients take a 'trip' to Belize. It's a lovely vacation destination where problems mysteriously disappear. Also, keep a guy on speed dial who can make YOU disappear if needed."
"Balance defending cartel members with occasional pro-bono work for meth cooks. Variety is the spice of life! And when it all falls apart, embrace your new life managing a Cinnabon. At least the pastries are legal."
The advice above is 100% satirical and should NOT be followed. Saul Goodman represents everything a lawyer should NOT be. Do not engage in criminal activity, money laundering, or helping drug lords. If you need legal representation, find someone with actual ethics. And probably not advertising on bus benches.
*This is a satirical fan page. Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, and all characters are property of AMC and Sony Pictures Television. S'all good, man!